Nate Is A Weasel: Cease and Desist

We will not be intimidated!

Below is a copy of the cease & desist letter we received from Nate’s attorneys.  It’s 100% true, except for the parts we fabricated, which is all of it.  Fight the imagined power!

Be it herewith known (or is it hereby?  We're never sure) that the law firm of Yabromowitz, Yabromowitz, Yabromowitz & Associates ("the party of the first part”) has been retained by the estate of Nathaniel P. Ravitz, Esq. (“the party of the second part”) pursuant to a legal matter against the proprietors of the website (“the party of the scum part”).  Said website is hereby ordered (foresooth ordered?) to cease and, of course, desist from any further depiction of the party of the second part having a weasely and/or weasel-like nature.  In particular, the image of a weasel wearing a suit has caused considerable emotional distress that we plan to measure in many U.S. dollars.  You are ordered to remove said depiction herein and soothwith (soothwith? That can't be right.  We'll be looking for a new paralegal TOMORROW).

You scum (which -- as we agreed -- is a legal term) would be well advised to capitulate before this matter reaches court.  We believe the party of the second part wholeheartedly when he says he has not tested positive for weasel DNA in a long time.  Sure, he does have kind of a squeaky voice.  And yes, he hasn’t been paying his bills.  But once Mr. Ravitz explains to the jury that walking on all fours is “just more efficient,” they'll be in our pocket.  Be you be advised (ok, that one just pisses us off) that the party of the first part is not messing around here, and we plan to take this case to the highest court in the land if necessary.  Provided that weasel’s check clears.

Yours legally,

Eddie Yabromowitz
Junior Associate

Yabromowitz, Yabromowitz, Yabromowitz & Associates